Last night I felt like I was stuck somewhere in a teen movie.
Washington is beautiful. Everything looked like it was out of some surreal moment on a Hollywood camera, although the moments were not surreal, the backdrop was.
Maybe it took spending time with people a little too much younger than me to realize that I am older than I feel. I am still very inexperience in life, and I don't think I'm ready to let go of those late night adventures and young shenanigans. I'm not ready to abandon any sense of irresponsibility that I may have. I'm only 21, right? I know I'm not 18. I know that I have to own up to some things.
But why can't I stay out 'til 4 am, sitting on the edge of the bay, listening to the low hum of the oil refinery, and talking about life? Had it been so long since I'd met someone far enough removed from my social circle to have a real conversation with? Last night was the first time in a long time that what I had to say didn't feel like old news.
It made me realize just how severely depressed at my lack of social involvement has made me. I know that my friends are not very interested in meeting new people. Holley has said in the past that she's met everyone she thinks she needs to. I definitely have not.
There's something exciting about meeting someone new, getting to know what they are all about. Someone who really cares what you say because it's not the same old thing they hear everyday from you. Someone full of stories that you've never heard.
I need to meet more people. I need to get out of this house and make more friends. I can't survive on a handful. I love my friends, and they are the best things in my life, but I feel like if they're busy, my options are nil. I need to get my license and car, because there are a lot of people I've been meaning to get to know better. I need to start limiting my hours at both jobs because the pay isn't higher than the cost of my slip into insanity. Sleep work sleep work work sleep work does not go well for me.
I don't know, someone suggest ways for me to meet more people.
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4 comments:
I have a lot of the same feelings you have. Needa meet new ppl etc. I'm going to Florida soon so hopefully I can do that there. But yeah it's always cool listening to a new person's story. I feel like I have to enjoy my early 20's more than I have been.
hang out with meeeeeeee! i've got stories for ya.
Jonathan, I totally forgot that you're close to my age, aren't you?
What's in Florida?
I agree 100% on enjoying your/our early 20's more. This is a weird age where people are either totally fucking off and being irresponsible or completely settling down and taking themselves too seriously. I want to be somewhere in the middle.
Stef, I love hanging out with you! Seriously, you're wonderful.
Yeah I'm 21. My father lives in Florida so that's where I'm headed. Out of NY. Stay there a couple years probably. I hear you about being in the middle too, it's a hard place to reach
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